


Limited

by PlatonicConspiracy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1d Hiatus, Bad Ending, Depression, Forbidden Love, M/M, Old Fiction I Once Made, One Shot, Same universe, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8691373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlatonicConspiracy/pseuds/PlatonicConspiracy
Summary: If they only knew life was limited, it would’ve been different.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people, this is a pretty old one shot I once made and I decided to put it on here just for the delay from my other fanfictions (I have lots of work to do at the moment)
> 
> I've warned multiple times but this one shot has NOT a happy ending, but if you couldn't figure out yourself I told you again. Hope you like it <33

Harry and Louis time together has always been _limited_.

Their lovely cuddles, gentle touches and sleepless nights have always been once in a lifetime, for a slight second before everything fainted and because surreal.

When they were on stage, in an interview, or even walking outside they were limited to do things. They couldn’t touch, they couldn’t sit next to each other, they could even hardly say each other’s names.

They were allowed to answer, _but that was it._

Louis was always the one telling it would get better, and that they had all the time in the world. Even if they needed to fly from stunt to stunt, different planes and different places every day, once in a while they would reunite and the world would just stop for them. They would have midnight conversations lying in each others arms, and sometimes, reality would hit Harry. Clear, painful reality that cut deep into his soul and wrecked him, but Louis was always the one wiping his tears away and saying that they had all the time in the world, even if they saw each other less than ever, the days they spend together were already enough.

“One day, it’ll get better.” He would say, as he kissed Harry’s cheek gently. “We’ll be free and think back about these days, but remembering that it only made us stronger.”

At those times, Harry really believed that Louis was right. He _hoped_ Louis was right.

It was like Louis left his son and he was going to war, kissing Harry’s forehead and brushing his tears away. “I am coming back, next time.” Was what he said, as he took the plane to LA, leaving the love of his life alone in London. Louis would’ve been gone for a month, trying to be stronger than he really was and convincing himself that it wasn’t hard, and he could just handle everything by himself.

But every night, Louis felt something he didn’t want to feel, something he didn’t want to think about in the first place. So he smoked a cigarette, and another one, and maybe even a third, just to know that this weird feeling was away. It’s nothing, it’s just child's play. One day, he and Harry would be able to marry each other and they would stay, stay until they both died at eighty one. Maybe things were slow at the moment, but that didn’t really matter. The most important thing was that they stayed by each other's side, and nothing more.

Fake babies, fake girlfriends, Louis had it all. But it was him or Harry, and he never wanted to see Harry cry about it ever again, in his arms as he begged so hard to just make it stop, but knowing he couldn’t, so he did exactly what Harry did every time; _pretending_ , _pretending_ , _pretending_.

He wasn’t happy, yet he tried so hard to act like he was. Not only towards his fans, and towards the whole world, but also towards Harry.

He wasn’t happy with his baby, it was not his child but still he needed to pretend like it was. Maybe the first time lying about it was easy, but it became harder and harder by time.

He wasn’t happy with his girlfriend, she was not as lovely and sweet as Harry and she had not the same, breathtakingly gorgeous green eyes as Harry. They only sat there, drinking smoothies and doing nothing, not even bothering to talk to each other.

Louis wasn’t happy, he clearly wasn’t.

But every time Harry texted him, he would write that it was fun in LA and that he didn’t have to worry about him. But every evening, he couldn’t sleep. Louis would love to wander through LA, looking at things he normally overlooked. Big dark circles around his eyes, and his heart filled with a never ending melancholy he tried to hide. Nobody was watching, so he could just do whatever he wanted. There was no paps, no Freddie, no Briana, no Danielle, no Oli, only him and the haunted and empty streets.

“What are you doing here alone, love?” Louis said as he found a dog who was tied to a pole, desperate for some food. Louis looked at his jacket and then decided to put it on the abandoned dog, so it would keep him warm. He knelt beside the dog and reached out. The dog licked his hand and Louis managed to give him a weak and sad smile. The dog rested his head on Louis knee and they stayed like that for maybe three minutes or so.

“Say, what do you think? Should I bring something for Harry?” Louis asked the dog, but obviously it didn’t reply since it was an animal. Louis laughed weakly and looked down at his knee. “I am pathetic, am I seriously talking to a dog?”

For a slight minute, it stayed silent. The wind teased him from behind, cut holes in his soul and basically destroyed his faith, but it was alright, there wasn’t much left to begin with.

“Say, me and Harry are meant to be, _aren’t we?_ We don’t have to rush, we’re only in our twenties.” Louis got no answer, if he didn’t count the wind. He would never know if he was right.

He ended up texting Harry all night, sitting on a parking bench while appreciating the moon. Harry gave him short, but sweet replies. But he didn’t tell Harry that he couldn’t sleep and he had drowned in melancholy, he told Harry he was with friends at an amazing party that never ended.

Harry had asked him if he had smoked any weed on the past days.

He said _no_.

Louis asked him if he was having fun and if he was able to sleep without him.

He said _no_.

That was the moment Louis lighted another cigarette, and couldn’t stop smoking, finding himself awakening on the same place, at a different time, but still at the same place.

“Louis, you have a day off. Come visit me, please.” Louis read on his telephone, as he scrolled down to read the second text message Harry send.

_“Please.”_

Louis took a deep breath, tried to stop his lip from shivering and closed his eyes. “Sorry, I can’t.”

_“I’ll visit you soon, I promise.”_

 

Time was limited, Louis knew it, Harry knew it, but they both tried to convince themselves that it wasn’t. Too naive, as they spilled time and thought they could catch up eventually. If they had just done more with the time they had, things would’ve turned out better.

_But they didn’t._

 

**One Direction Idol Harry Styles tragically died in car accident.**

...

**Harry Styles is dead, bandmates Niall and Liam share heartbreaking tweets on twitter.**

...

**Fangirls are broken, a truck takes the life of Harry Styles.**

...

**Harry Styles is dead, he just turned twenty two.**

 

Silence. No tears. Noo shivers. No pain. No feelings. _Nothing_.

Dark room. Dark clothes. Dark circles. Dark weather. Only the bright light from Louis’ mobile.

And then, he laughed.

Louis laughed so hard he choke in his own spit but he continued laughing. Tears streaming down his face from laughter, his nose dripping from laughter, it wasn’t crying Louis was laughing, harder than he had ever done before.

His body almost collapsed, his head got empty and he felt dizzy but he laughed. His throat felt horrible, the mucus in his mouth started blocking his throat eventually, but he continued and continued and didn’t stop.

“Isn’t it hilarious, isn’t it _fucking_ hilarious.” Louis snorted. “That I always told him I would neverr.. ever leave him. A-and guess what I do?” Louis tears irritated in the corners of his mouth. His body started shivering and he buried his face in his pillow, continuing laughing and laughing, even of it caused him a sore throat.

“And you know what the worst part is?” Louis laughed hysterically, tweaking his pillow, not able to stop. “I am mad, I am _fucking_ mad. I want to see the whole world in pain, I want to _stab_ the closest person next to me, I want to hear Harry apologize and I want to scream at him for leaving me, meanwhile _I_ am the one who left him.”

Suddenly, Louis stopped laughing and out of shock covered his mouth. Tears continued streaming down his face like rivers, maybe even oceans, if god only knew. His lips shivered, soft sobs escaped his mouth that he had always tried to hide from everybody.

Tears he never shared with his friends, his family, and he would never, ever share with Harry.

“I am a horrible person.”

Louis cried out as his jaw dropped even more and his sobbing became louder and louder, his face becoming redder and redder and his heart breaking more and more.

Harry was dead. He would never, _ever_ see him again.

He would never, ever kiss him again, or tell him he is pretty, or having midnight conversations with him, or brushing his tears away, or laughing with him, shouting at him, feeling him inside of him or the other way around, seeing his beautiful brown curls when he woke up, smelling his hair or scent, everything was gone.

_Everything._

 

“Louis, please come home.” Anne called him again, having to listen to the boy’s breakdown that didn’t seem to end, maybe it never ended.

“I can’t, my home is gone.” Louis replied, sobbing and shaking, deeply drowned in his own tears. Harry was Louis home, the only place Louis ever felt right.

He lost it. It was over.


End file.
